After coming back from “the other world,” I was full of life energy that night – completely lit from within. But by the next day, I could feel it: my body simply wasn’t able to hold that vibration. The crash was heavy, and it took more than five years to return to anything close to “normal.”
I wish I had known then what I know now. The healing could have been much faster.
Even though I had seen a glimpse of what life truly is, how it’s structured, and the direction of everything… I had no idea how to repair a broken body. I was weak. Lost. And I had to start from somewhere – so I began slowly returning to the only reality I knew.
First, I worked as a dishwasher in a bar. Then I became a city parking guard. Eventually, when I felt a little stronger, an old friend connected me with a job as a bodyguard for a casino owner in Tel Aviv.
Everything around me felt stuck. Even work… felt like distortion pulling me away from the real path I was only just beginning to feel and understand. I knew I needed fresh air, wide space, and a drastic change – both for my body and my soul.
When I made some money, I paid off social and legal duties – the price of being gone from the system for years. Once that burden was lifted, I ran.
I ran to Canada.
At first, I stayed with friends. Soon I got my own small place. It felt like going back to school. I was studying English in the mornings and walking the streets of Toronto in the afternoons.
And for the first time in years… I breathed. Four seasons again. Canadian nature. Walks along rivers, through the woods. It was like pressing “reset” on my life. But also, it brought deep nostalgia. Memories flooded me again and again. Seeing families in the parks, children with their parents, made me realize how much of a “healthy childhood” I had missed. And even though I’ve understood that not all children today grow up with both parents – due to divorces – still, something in me knew: no child should go through emotional abuse so young. That’s when I first felt a strong urge to write a book.
I spent many hours searching through books at the Toronto Public Library and online, driven by countless new questions. Most of all, I wanted to understand the root of my condition and my stepfather’s behaviour. Slowly, I began to realize the deep impact stress can have – especially during the first seven years of life. And I was grateful: I was still alive.
I also came to understand this: most people don’t even realize something is deeply wrong until they begin the process of healing. They live with discomfort or struggle to navigate life – they can’t focus, or they can’t run, for example – but because these issues have been present since early childhood, they’ve grown used to them, accepting them as unchangeable. Only when healing begins, and they start to feel different – feel better – do they realize just how distorted things were before.
If you’re living in depression, or chronic stress, with blocked chakras and disconnected energy – you’ll just accept that as “normal.” You think that’s who you are.
But it’s not. It’s just all you’ve ever known. You haven’t yet met your true self. Your blueprint.
Once I finished my English classes, I took different jobs just to practice the language. Eventually, I began working at a tattoo shop and practicing Wing Chun martial arts.
Years passed. One day, I realized my body had grown stronger, and my English was finally fluent enough to communicate. So, I decided to take a trip. I bought a train ticket – from Toronto to Vancouver – and a video camera. I filmed the entire journey. Later, I edited the footage into a short clip. You’ll find it below this article.
And even though I had made progress, you can still feel in the video that the deep depression hadn’t fully left me. That childhood grief… it had buried itself deep in my soul.
Changing cities, countries, jobs, languages – even that couldn’t move me out of that vibration. It was strong. So strong. Only much later in life, even as I write these words now, did I find the true way out.
Today I am not the happiest person in the world, but I am free from that grief. I allowed it to release me. I saw it as an experience – yes, even the worst pain – has meaning in the larger picture.
We are here to learn.
We are here to grow.
Hopefully, we graduate.
Hopefully, we rise above.
To a place where Nirvana and Love exist.
Enjoy the video.
Much love,
David Wolf
The continuation will follow.
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