✨ “Confidence is not found in being greater than others, but in remembering the light that was always your own.” ✨
Yesterday, I had a conversation with my coworker about self-confidence. It began with a simple question of belief – belief in religion, in oneself, or in something greater.
I said: One doesn’t have to be religious to believe. Belief itself is one of the first conditions for living this life. Even atheists believe in something – in reason, in science, in love, or even in their own will. From my experience, when you lose belief completely, you cannot stand up. You simply collapse inside yourself.
My coworker said he believes only in himself. I replied, you probably grew up in a good family, my friend, with parents who supported you at every step, who made you feel safe. He nodded in agreement.
But then I asked: What about those who never had that foundation? Those who lost self-confidence at a young age? How can they believe in themselves without any achievements to anchor that belief?
When Confidence is Broken Early
Imagine being three years old when your parents’ divorce. A new stepfather enters your life, but instead of being a parent, he becomes a shadow, an enemy, the opposite of what a father or even human should be. A person without compassion, empathy, conscience or logic. He only feels strong when you are small, weak, and silent.
Every time you succeed, he feels threatened. Every time you reveal strength, he is reminded of his weakness. And so, he fights to keep you down – to crush your confidence before it has the chance to bloom. He fills the present moment with the weight of his ego, until you no longer feel safe in your own home.
And one day, your own mother turns her back on you, choosing his side. At that moment, you lose the ground beneath your feet. You lose the very foundation, the source of pride, support, and belief in yourself.
You’ll look in the mirror one morning and say: “If this is life, I don’t want it.”
Escaping into the Dream
From there, you have been pushed to live in a dream world. You imagine a future where you’ll grow strong, succeed, and prove yourself. You dream that one day your mother will see your success and return her love to you.
But living only in the future is a trap. The years pass, and you find yourself still stuck – still the same person in the same conditions. You didn’t become what you dreamed. You feel lost, empty, disconnected.
And no one tells you the truth:
- That you are a spark of the divine.
- That life is eternal.
- That this is not punishment, but a school – a place of learning and becoming.
Instead, the world teaches you an illusion: that you are an accident of the universe, born from nothing and heading nowhere. That survival is only for the strongest – but since no one is truly strong anymore, everyone cheats.
When Searching Becomes the Only Way
So, what do you do when the dream fails? You either collapse into depression, or you begin to search.
You’ll search in books, in meditation, in yoga, in prayer, in ancient wisdom, in silence. You’ll search everywhere for answers – who you truly are, what this place called life really is, and most of all, why you are here, and what the purpose of it all might be. And when glimpses of truth finally reach you – that you are a divine spark of God, a son or daughter of the Almighty, an eternal soul having a human experience – you realize you were never abandoned. You can restore your connection at any time and be healed back to your original blueprint. Yet even with this knowledge, the hardest part remains living it, applying it.
Because life exists not only in space, but also in time. True healing requires both.
Even after awakening, you must still practice. You must cleanse the wounds of the past, ground yourself daily, and walk through the long process of re-training your body, mind, and spirit. It takes time before you see results. You must also learn to remain in the present moment. If you live in the future, your energy leaks into what has not yet come. If you dwell in the past, your energy is chained to what can no longer change. To heal this body, you must relearn how to be fully contained in the now – here, where true power flows. With patience, discipline, and compassion, the shift begins. One day, you notice change. Your body feels lighter and stronger. Your heart feels steadier. Your eyes shine differently.
That is when belief turns into truth. And from truth, self-confidence grows again – not as something given from the outside, but as something eternal within.
Ancient Echoes
Philosophers have long spoken of this.
- Epictetus, the Stoic, said: “No man is free who is not master of himself.”
- Lao Tzu wrote: “He who conquers others is strong; he who conquers himself is mighty.”
- And Ralph Waldo Emerson reminded us: “Self-trust is the first secret of success.”
Self-confidence is not arrogance. It is the quiet knowing that even in the darkest night, the flame inside you cannot be extinguished.
Closing Thought
Self-confidence is not always born in childhood. Sometimes it is forged in fire, rebuilt from ashes, and reborn after years of searching.
And perhaps that is why, when you finally find it, it is unshakable.
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